Michael's Worst Audition

Submitted Anonymously

A panel of NY actors in 1988 was asked if they liked auditions. Michael used this story to illustrate his attitude, and made it so real it was uncanny. It was often interrupted by laughter and was clearly everyone's favorite story.

When MC was very young he went to an audition for a musical with a very prominent British producer (unnamed). He's up on stage with the pianist, who can't see ("the Ray Charles of the audition set"). The producer and his henchmen in the dark auditorium ask him what he'll sing. He blows nervously on the microphone and stutters out "On-on-on the Street Where You Live", and hears them groan. He realizes that he's probably the twentieth guy who's sung that today. The pianist asks him what key he wants it in. Key? To him the key is for the front door. He tries singing "I have often walked..." at several different levels to find the appropriate key. Finally he starts, but by the middle, he realizes it's way too high. He stops and says, "Uh, I started too high." Chuckles. "We knew that, Michael...Do you know anything else?" Then his lip starts to go, his knees start to go... (he interjects to the panel, "That's why you always wear dark pants to an audition"). This is his life, his career they are playing with. So he whispers something to the pianist then turns to addresses his tormentors. "Would you stand, please?" "Huh?" "I said (firmly) would you please stand?" They stand...and he sings the National Anthem and marches out!

After the audience quit laughing and clapping, he added, "I didn't work for three years after that one".

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